Building relationships!
Take the time to build it.
Become a trusted Friend.
Always maintain that trust.
Partners is community and results oriented. It works for adults and it works for the community and if very cost effective.
Job Descriptions for a Senior Partner
Some Concerns You May Have About Partners..
What are the qualities of a good mentor?
#1 BE A FRIEND
Don’t act like a parent.
Don’t try to be an authority figure
Don’t preach about values.
Do focus on establishing a bond, a feeling of attachment, a sense of equality and the mutual enjoyment of shared time.
#2 Have Realistic Goals and Expectations
Focus on the child or youth and his/her overall development
Early on, center goals on the relationship itself.
Through out the relationship emphasize friendship over performance.
#3 HAVE FUN TOGETHER!!!!!
Many youth involved in the mentoring program have few opportunities for fun.
Having fun together shows your mentee that you are reliable and committed.
Focusing on fun activities early in the relationship can lead to more "serious stuff" later.
#4 Voice & Choice
It demonstrates that you value your mentee’s ideas and input and that you care about and respect him/her.
Helps develop decision-making and negotiation skills
Helps avoid the possibility that you will impose "it’s good for you" activities-like homework sessions- this kind of imposition make you seem more like a teacher or parent than a friend.
-They don’t want to seem rude.
-It really is difficult for them to come up with ideas.
Give a range of ideas concerning possible activities.
Create an idea file together.
Listen.
Emphasize to your mentee that her/his enjoyment is important to you.
THE POTENTIAL CHALLENGE!
"SHE/HE THINKS I’M RICH!"
Feel comfortable about setting clear limits on the amount of money you will spend.
It’s important to set a budget and be up front about what kind of money there is to spend, rather than it being a vague thing.
#5 BE POSITIVE
Be encouraging even when talking about potentially troublesome topics, such as grades
Offer concrete assistance
#6 Let your Mentee have as much control over what the two of you talk about and how you talk about it.
Don’t push.
Be Sensitive and responsive to your mentee’s cues
Understand that young people vary in their style of communicating and their habits of disclosure.
Be direct in letting your mentee know that she or he can confide in you without fear of judgment or exposure.
Remember that the activities you do together can become a source of conversation.
#7 LISTEN
"Just listening" gives mentee a chance to vent and lets them know that they can disclose personal matters to you without worrying about being criticized
When you listen, your mentee can see that you are a friend, not an authority figure
#8 Respect the Trust the Mentee Places in You.
Respond in ways that show you see your mentee’s side of things.
Reassure your mentee that you will be there for him/her
If you give advice, give it sparingly and be sure it is focused on identifying solutions
If, on occasion, you feel you have to convey concern or displeasure, do so in a way that also conveys reassurance and acceptance
Sound like a Friend, not a Parent.
#9 Relationship is with Youth, not Parent.
Maintain cordial but distant contact with family members.
Keep you primary focus on youth
Resist families effort to extract help beyond providing a friendship for youth.
Be nonjudgmental of the family
#10 YOU are responsible for building the relationship.
Take responsibility for making and maintaining contact.
Understand that the feedback and reassurance characteristic of adult-to- adult relationships is often beyond capacity for youth
WALK MY WALK
My Partnership is not easy. You name it and my JP has probably done it. The music she listens to is less than wholesome and the tales she tells of her weekend adventures makes my head spin. Our time together is not always rosy; sometimes , it’s not even fun. Our relationship is still rather rough around the edges even after a year of working to smooth things out.
And yet our partnership is a good thing- for both of us. My JP knows that I love her, she knows that I will listen and give honest feedback, even if it’s of the tough love variety that she’d rather not hear. She knows I’ll call and will even chase her down when she tries to duck out of getting together. She’s learning that I hold her to high standards because I care about her and want her to have the good things she deserves.
If that’s what my JP gets out of the deal , I gain even more. She challenges me to "walk my walk" to actually be in daily practice the sort of person I like to think I am. She reminds me that everyone, no matter how "bad" they may appear, holds so much goodness and potential inside. She reminds me that we’re all a lot more alike that we are different; we all have hopes and fears and such an aching desire to be loved. Perhaps more that anything my JP is living proof of resiliency of the human spirit and of the capacity for joy. Despite all that she’s been through and all that’s stacked against her, she often catches me off guard with her gentleness, her giggly innocence, and her ability to dream big dreams. At times I wonder what difference I am making. I wish I could say she’s quit drinking and smoking, and is making good choices with her friends. None of that’s true, at least not yet. I do know the people who make a difference in my life, though. They’re the ones who are consistent, whose actions live up to their words, who hold me to high standards, and don’t give up on me, no matter what stunts I pull. I’m trying to be that kind of person for my JP, and am trusting it counts for a lot.
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If each
grain of sand were to say:
If each
drop of water were to say:
If each
note of music were to say:
If each
word were to say:
If each
brick were to say:
If each
seed were to say:
If each of
us were to say:
You and I
do make the difference, |
KEEP MAKING A DIFFERENCE!
Click below for Job Descriptions of a Senior Partner